9 Things You Never Want to Hear a Kid Say
I’m minding my own business relaxing after a long day of work when the boy walks in. “Hey Mom, did you know you can cut your hair with paper scissors?” “Why yes, I did.” I say. The trick is not to...
View ArticleHow Pokemon Cards Came to Represent Jesus
“Mom, look what he gave me!” It was a Pokemon card. It was shiny. I don’t know much about Pokemon, but I know shiny is good. Conquests and wars have been based on nations getting more shiny things....
View ArticleFood Freak Files: How to Say “Hands Off” Your Thanksgiving Food
Thanksgiving. The season of love, thankfulness, everyone posting the required message of love and appreciation for mankind on the way to Black Friday shopping. For food freaks, it’s the season of...
View Article‘Twas the Month Before E-Christmas
Twas the month before Christmas and all through the house The tree decorated, no fight from the spouse. Each year we argue with all of our might About bangles and ornaments–those god-blasted lights....
View ArticleThat’s a Wrap! Dealing with Wrapping and Christmas Greed
“Could you take Declan out so I can wrap some presents?” I sent the boys out to do I-don’t-care-whatever so I could start wrapping. I go to bed early. I haven’t been able to wrap with Declan poking...
View ArticleThe Truth about Santa: A Little Boy Contemplates Gratitude
It’s time to have a serious talk with the boy. I sit him down. “Listen, Declan,” I say. “Santa’s not getting you everything on this list.” “Yes, he will.” It’s a hefty list. “No, he won’t.” I say....
View ArticleSimplicity is the secret to holiday sanity (Why cookies make you crazy)
Christmas, New Year, and Hanukkah Dinners Holiday dinners are highly orchestrated events. They requires the skills of a top chef and the timing of a miracle. “Why are we having turkey again? We had...
View ArticleBad Mom Series: How to Clean Your Kid’s Room
“Go clean your room!” every good mom says. I never say that. Reason why? I don’t care. I’m too tired. “It’s my room!” Declan says. I correct him immediately. “It’s not your room,” I say. “It’s...
View ArticleWhen Fear Strikes: How to Get Unstuck and Win
The boy screams and wails. I panic and run to the other room. “It’s signed me out of X-box Live!” he says. I try to be relieved–nobody’s injured. Instead, the cold hand of fear wraps around my soul....
View ArticleHow to Reclaim Your Bathroom Privacy
My son’s been in the bathroom for a very long time. I thought there was a problem. Nothing’s wrong except the iPad has a full charge. In the olden days, we took real books into the bathroom–honest to...
View ArticleA Man’s Box is his Castle: How to Feed the Creative Mind
All you really need in life is a box and some tape. “No! Don’t recycle, Mom! I need them.” The stack of Amazon boxes reminds Declan of Christmas. I scowl–forty rainforests died because I ordered a...
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